Chapter Six: Relapse
Tara Hardy couldn't get her son to answer the door. It had been forty minutes that she'd been over the grounds of his home trying to find the spare key that was usually under the doormat. She eventually phoned Charlie, she needed some muscle to break the door down and he was a pretty sturdy young man, unlike her skinny son. He'd told her about Saturday morning and how Leo had stormed out of Amanda and Izzy's home without a word. How he'd tried phoning and texting, leaving messages and even going round there on Sunday to see if he was okay. Tara was upset to hear that Leo hadn't been seen or heard from for nearly two days. "Charlie just get over here now, I need you to do something for me!" she snapped and hung up the phone. As she looked around the house with a pain in her chest, knowing her boy could have repeated his stunt from over a month ago, she noticed that all of the blinds and curtains were closed, even his bedroom which he'd started leaving open since he met Izzy.
When Charlie finally arrived he looked vacantly at Tara, "So, what do you want me to do?" Tara punched him on the arm and grunted.
"Stupid boy, break down the door!!!" she yelled and nodded her head towards Leo's front door.
"Why don't you just call the police?" Charlie muttered as he rubbed his arm. "Look, I truly believe that Leo just needs some space. Izzy gave him a fright and she's been acting weird since she tried to jump off the bridge the other night. Amanda wants to take her to the doctor and have her see someone, like Leo sees Rhys?" Tara pushed him towards the door, obviously not listening to his story and pointed at it.
"Break it down!!!" Charlie obliged and within minutes they were inside. Leo's front door wasn't as strong as it looked. "LEO???" Tara shouted around the house, racing upstairs and into his room. She tripped over the bed it was so dark, but she could just about make out Leo sitting in the corner by the window. "Leo! What are you doing here in the dark?" she retreated back to the door and flicked on the light switch as Leo hunched himself over, curled up and covered by his hoodie. "Leo? What's wrong my darling?"
"Everything!" he mumbled and rocked back and forth. Tara kneeled down beside him as Charlie appeared in the bedroom doorway.
"There you are mate, I'm afraid you're going to need a new door, your mum made me bash it in!" he rubbed his hands together and frowned at Tara.
"SHUT UP!" she responded and reached out to touch Leo, but he shuffled backwards further against the wall. "Baby, please talk to me! Tell me what happened?"
"Yeah, you ran out on Saturday without saying a word! Amanda was worried about you. I've been phoning and..." Tara raised her hand up to silence Charlie and he huffed a huge sigh and left them to it. She could hear his feet stomping down the stairs as Leo's entire body shook and he tugged on those chords the way he always did, but this time it was more desperately, like he wanted the hood to swallow his entire face and seal up forever. "Leo?" she began to weep, the sight of her son reduced to a quivering wreck after the progress he had made over the past month.
"I'm finished!" he finally whispered and Tara's heart stopped.
"What do you mean?" she breathed nervously as he looked her straight in the eyes.
"I mean...I give up!"
"CHARLIE!" Tara yelled and made him jump, he dropped the carton of orange juice he was holding and it fell to the floor with a squelch. The contents ran along the floor as he looked at it, momentarily numb.
"Damn!" he cursed and bent down to pick it up.
"LEAVE IT!!!" Tara shouted at him again, Charlie remembered seeing her angry when he and Leo were children but this was the first time in a long time and he felt rather intimidated by her. This slight woman, Leo's little mum, a bony and petite woman with greying brown hair and piercing blue eyes that she passed down to her son.
"Tara, what..." he didn't get to finish when she shouted over him,
"What the hell happened to my son??? How did he get in this state?" Charlie shrugged, he didn't have a clue.
"I...maybe it's post traumatic stress or something? He was the one who found Izzy on the bridge, he had to talk her down! It's maybe just hit him and he needed some time alone. You know Leo Tara! He has these moments since the attack. He retreats into himself." Charlie wrung his hands nervously and looked at the puddle of orange juice on the floor, "He's had a relapse, but he'll be fine once he goes to see Rhys tomorrow." Tara threw her hands up in the air and let out a frustrated squeal.
"No Charles he's not going back to see Rhys! He just told me! He's giving up! So what happened???" Charlie shook his head with a pained expression on his face, his bluey grey eyes glistened as if he was going to cry. Tara was rather frightening. "He's broken!" Tara's voice cracked and she bit her lip as it threatened to tremble. "He's been broken!" and the tears escaped. Charlie began to weep too, unsure why, was it Leo's sad little figure curled up on the floor like a wounded animal? Or was it his mother's despair and heartache? It didn't matter what made him feel this way as he walked over to Tara and wrapped his arms around her. The tiny 5ft battleaxe weeping in his arms as he towered over her, all 6ft of him, enveloping her in the softest hug he could deliver.
Charlie felt compelled to talk to Leo himself. He had to find out what had changed over the weekend, why he had left Amanda's so abruptly. He had hardly moved since he last saw him ten minutes before, but Charlie soldiered on despite wanting to shake him and scream. He sat down crossed legged in front of him and sighed heavily. "Okay Leo mate, tell me what's up?" Leo was still rocking back and forth, biting his nails, huge dark half circles under his blue eyes that were red and puffy. "I'll sit here all day if I have to!" he threatened, but Leo scoffed and replied,
"You'll get hungry and go for a burger in no time!" Charlie laughed despite the sombre mood and shook his head in amusement.
"Mate, talk to me! What happened?" Leo began to cry and the rocking ceased.
"I told her about Makayla, all of it and she hates me, she said I was ugly inside! But you already told me that remember?" Charlie hung his head remembering the day he told him,
"You know, there's nothing wrong with your face man! It's how ugly your insides are that you should be worried about!" Charlie cringed at his words. He never meant it, it wasn't true. Despite his philandering ways with women, Leo had always been a good friend since they were children and even leading up to the attack. He was a good person, the fame game just corrupted him and poisoned his mind. The truth was, Leo Hardy was a good man who was dazzled by the idea of celebrity, his modelling and his acting opportunities made him someone he wasn't...but this...this was the real Leo right here! The old Leo, Makayla's attack on him brought his old friend back to Charlie and he was almost grateful for Leo's scars and burns.
"Leo, you're scarred, you're burned, but you're not ugly! Not on the outside! No you have an ugly heart! And that will never change! I can't be around someone like that, I can't let you drag me down!" Leo looked into his friend's eyes as Izzy's words played on repeat inside his head. Tears stung his marred face as her voice echoed in his ears. Charlie inched forward and placed his hands on Leo's shoulders.
"Mate, it's not true! If you were that guy you wouldn't take our words to heart like this! You'd brush it off and move on! This proves you're a good guy. And Izzy was only upset, she only knows this Leo. She's mouthing off, I'll talk to her. This is not the end!"
Izzy was back in the coffee shop that Saturday, but this time her companion was her future brother-in-law. Leo had taken to heart her little speech about not wanting to be around him, so he had stayed away for the first Saturday in weeks. "You're missing him!" Charlie nodded as he took a sip of his frothy coffee. Izzy blushed and dried the cups in front of her roughly. "He's missing you too!"
"Chaz leave it!" she snapped and the mug slipped out of her hands and crashed into what seemed like millions of pieces on the floor. "SHIT!!!" she cursed loudly as a couple of customers looked up to see what the commotion was.
"Izzy? He confessed to you his deepest and darkest secrets and you threw it all back in his face...excuse the pun!" Izzy leaned on the counter with her elbows as her feet crunched broken porcelain.
"I don't know!" she breathed sadly, "I think it was the cheating on his girlfriend thing. It was just so...raw!"
"Believe me, Leo is not that guy. He had his agent and all these magazines telling him he was a star, even his own mother pushed him when he was growing up. He went through puberty in his pants most of the time. Tara used to drag him along to auditions for all sorts of television ads and catalogue modelling. Leo hated it until he turned 16 and he started noticing girls. When his career took off he was just living the whole lifestyle. He wasn't the Leo I grew up with, if I'm honest? Makayla did him a favour!" Izzy gasped a little at Charlie's last sentence. "What I mean is, I got my old friend back. Who you've been talking to this past month? It's not a new Leo! It's the old Leo before he was a famous prancing model!" Izzy took in Charlie's words, then gave in to sweep up the broken crockery.
Leo had gone to see Rhys after all and told him all about the traumatic weekend with Izzy. His answer was to take it on the chin and wait it out. So Leo pottered around the house and began writing again, something he loved doing when he was younger, he'd written poems in primary school but when his mother got him into modelling that all fell by the wayside. But now he was picking it up again. As he scribbled down a few words there was a knock on his new front door, Saturday evening, his mum didn't come round at night and Charlie was usually with Amanda. He walked slowly to the door and pressed his hands against it, he leaned in and tried to listen, to what he had no idea. "Who is it?" he muttered, and the voice that answered made his breath stick in his throat.
"Izzy, Isabel!" Leo's heart raced as he stepped away from the door, standing poker straight. No words formed, he didn't know what to say or do as he stood frozen on the spot. "Izzy from the coffee shop?" she added. He knew who she was! Of course he did! His breathing grew more bearable as he opened the door slowly and her silhouette came into his vision. "Hi!" she waved half heartedly, she looked nervous. Her hair was down, lying loosely over her shoulders, and her glasses were foggy from the cold outside.
"What do you want?" Leo's abruptness surprised him, nevermind Izzy as she looked hurt by his greeting.
"That's a bit harsh..." she tried to speak but he talked over her.
"Yeah well that's me, ugly on the inside! I say ugly stuff too so..."
"Leo!" her eyes were watery and her bottom lip quivered.
"No Isabel, you hurt my feelings! You judged me! I was real with you, I opened up to you, exposed my vulnerability and you stabbed me in the gut!"
"I know!" she nodded sadly, "I judged you by Chris and Scott's standards. I heard the cheating part and that's all I could focus on. I could relate to your ex so much that I didn't see the psycho that did that to your face!" she reached a hand out to touch his cheek, it was cold and came as a bit of a shock, but Leo allowed it. "You're a good person Leo. You saved me and I repaid you with cruel words and...I'm sorry!" Leo took her hand off of his face and squeezed it softly.
"Oh Izzy, I always knew there was a chance of losing you if I told you about my past. I just didn't expect...I don't know what I expected. The truth is, you saved me long before I talked you off that bridge. You gave me something to live for and..." he took her other hand and smiled, "...something to look forward to every weekend. Talking to you made me feel normal again. I've never really been in love, I don't know how it feels...but I'm guessing this is it! I...I've wanted to tell you for so long that...I...I think I love you Izzy!" Izzy's tears ran down her face and she laughed, grabbing hold of his face in her hands and pulling him towards her. She kissed every part of his face, the scars and the burns, no area went unkissed...and his heart exploded in his chest as she pressed her cold lips to his.
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